(kent) Grand Final - Walkerville V's Flinders Park

To tell you the truth I didn't think we'd stand a chance! I'd hear rumours that I'd be rucking against a descendant of Goliath - one that liked to wear a helmet! this proved to be somewhat accurate and I chose not to mention this to 'it' or who they affectionately named 'Frankenstein'. I started out in half forward with specific instructions to knee Frankenstein in the kidney whenever possible! I was didn’t really like the idea but considered it a challenge. When the time came I chickened out and reverted to my basic instinct of flattening opponents through the use of my right shoulder. Luckily the umpire didn't notice that I ran full tilt into him as he stood still watching he umpire preparing to throw the ball in from the boundary. I won the tap uncontested, as it appeared that he was prostrate on the ground, but as everybody knows Frankenstein's have an incredible short term memory - and moments later I was ceremonially thrown into the ground and fed small quantities of dirt and grass (Rye grass I believe)!!

Flinders Park scored the first 2 goals and I thought it was 'all over red rover' - thankfully one of my team mates kicked an extraordinary goal (in his 300th game for the club) to keep us in with a chance. This very same team mate was happy to let me know, in not so many cordial words that he felt I wasn't playing hard enough - his demonic prayer must have been answered because I was asked to play the role as chief cannon fodder or 'ruck' as it is commonly known.

I had now been thrust into the first of many center bounce contests with my 3 armed rival. Someone had forgotten to mention that the 'blood rule' did not apply to ogres, but the stage was set. Screams of encouragement in the form of 'get up there' where intermingled with the oppositions taunts of 'he's nothing', 'you'll smash him' and 'jump on his face'. Needless to say thoughts of 'why am I here' and 'where am I going' came to mind a few milliseconds before the umpire threw the ball up. I've always been told by my coach 'Jimmy' that I could jump well, perhaps in jest as our backup ruck man makes a sumo wrestler look like a ballerina! At the time I must have laughed but was undoubtedly confused moments later. The ball flew high, and I ran in - determined not to look at Frankie, I jumped! I flew....higher and higher - me thought I could see the Qantas Frequent Flyer lounge at the Adelaide Airport (a later photo revealed that I was barely a foot from the ground).

To my utter surprise I felt my knees protruding into Frankenstein's chest - I took courage and utilised his ribs as a spring board to reach heavens. I had 'not gone the way of the dust of the earth' after all. Whichever way I tapped the ball, I'll never know - but what I do know is that I slew that 3 armed beast!

While 'Balance' took a breather, 'Gravity' insisted that I continue on with the game, and I fell - 'and great was the fall thereof'. I again reacquainted myself with the taste of dirt (with a hint of Rye grass) and went on with the game.

The game seesoared backwards and forwards all afternoon - until 2pm when the sirens sounded and we had beaten an opponent who belted us on two occasions weeks prior.